Dealing with conflict

Individuals have different predominant styles of handling conflict. Having awareness of our own inherent tendency to manage conflict in a certain way can be valuable in helping us manage team interactions more effectively. Each conflict resolution style offers advantages and disadvantages and some are better suited to certain situations than others.

Here are some examples of conflict resolution styles:

Avoiding

Compromising

Controlling or competing

Collaborating

Accommodating

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Conflict arises from real or perceived differences in individual needs, interests, or values. Difficult behaviours on the part of patients, families, staff, or colleagues may evoke negative reactions in providers and be perceived as threatening. In order to avoid or manage conflict effectively, providers need to be mindful of their own responses to a perceived threat.

The first step in managing conflict is to know yourself, your biases, and your triggers, and to acknowledge and reflect on your role in the conflict. Your communication and manner are just as important as the other individual’s in influencing the outcome of the conflict. Avoid escalating the conflict, use non-confrontational and non-blaming language, and attend to non-verbal cues. Getting angry, blaming the other individual, or being accusatory usually does little to move the issue toward resolution. In a conflict situation, it is important to convey respect for the individuals involved, to remain calm, and to focus on seeking to understand the reasons for the other individual's behaviour. Pause and consider how best to respond.

Distinguishing positions from interests

In any conflict, parties typically exhibit behaviours or make statements that signal their frustration. Statements like “I won’t take calls anymore!” signals a person’s position: their stance on the matter or their demand. When individuals are entrenched in their position, it may be difficult to explore the issue that lies at the core of the matter in order to find a mutually acceptable solution.

A person’s interest(s) reflect their underlying reasons or true motivation for seeking a mutually acceptable resolution to a conflict: “I am no longer able to be up at night and look after my family and I had a near miss with a recent call situation”. Such reasons are often complex and may never have been fully articulated, even by the individual in question. A person who says “I won’t take calls anymore!” may be signaling that they find it difficult to work in their environment. They may have concerns about their safety, the availability of resources, or a colleague who may be exhibiting bullying or undermining behaviours. Understanding each one of these factors as interests for solving the situation would lead to the identification of very different potential solutions.

Exploring a person’s interests generally leads to the identification of a common understanding of issues, which can then be leveraged to find a lasting solution to the conflict. Exploring the various components that contribute to interests is not easy, however. It requires great trust, courage, and a commitment to working together. Sometimes, only a trained mediator may be able to achieve positive results in finding a way forward in a conflict situation.

We often wait too long to manage conflict. Typically, by the time an issue surfaces and a sense of urgency develops, the work environment has been suboptimal for a long time. Issues have festered, rumours have circulated, behaviours were tolerated, and workarounds were devised until informal accommodations can no longer maintain the status quo and the issue comes to a head. By this point, it is often too late to save the working relationships between colleagues and come to an acceptable resolution. Addressing conflict early and seeking to understand the interests that underlie the other individual’s positions can create opportunities to identify lasting solutions.² Outside of formal negotiation, we can each seek to move beyond taking positions towards exploring common interests and finding lasting solutions.

Taking ownership of conflict situations and seeking to resolve them quickly is much easier in a supportive, psychologically safe environment that values and promotes interprofessional collaboration and respectful dialogue.

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We all have an expectation of reasonable and courteous behaviour from others. Nevertheless, lapses in civility sometimes occur—both in others and in ourselves. People under stress may become upset and angry, especially when they are fatigued. By taking a step back and with insight, most people recognize their own inappropriate behaviour, regret it, and apologize. Unfortunately, insight is variable and we all have a role to play in respectfully pointing out lapses in others’ behaviour in order to foster insight and signal that inappropriate behaviour will not be tolerated.

What we tolerate, we condone

Creating a culture of respect and collaboration is everyone’s responsibility. Although leaders may be formally tasked with managing unprofessional behaviour, each healthcare professional, as an individual, establishes the culture of the team through the way they treat others and react to witnessing unprofessional behaviour. When it comes to conflict, how we respond to a concerning situation is what creates the culture. Witnessing inappropriate behaviour and not addressing it tacitly condones the behaviour. Conversely, politely speaking up helps surface the issue, opens the way to dialogue, and signals what is and is not appropriate behaviour.

Discuss it over coffee

Because people who behave in an inappropriate manner may not realize the impact their behaviour has on members of their team, it is important to address matters of concern when they occur. This helps turn conflict into an opportunity for learning and growth.

Research has shown that the vast majority of individuals who exhibit an episode of unprofessional behaviour will cease that behaviour if their attention is drawn to the fact that it is affecting others.^{3, 4} People do not usually intend to create acrimonious work environments; they simply learn to behave in certain ways over time. People will generally judge their own behaviour based on their intent while others will judge the same behaviour based on the impact it has on them. Addressing this “insight gap” is key in helping people who exhibit inappropriate behaviour identify opportunities for personal growth. Unfortunately, avoidance of conflict may often lead to missed opportunities to engage in difficult yet potentially beneficial discussions that can lead to increased workplace harmony.

Except in those rare circumstances where a person’s difficult behaviour is the result of a personality disorder or other psychiatric condition, helping someone develop insight into their impact on others should not be onerous. Such a discussion should take place privately and informally, perhaps over coffee, without intention to argue and convince, but rather as an awareness-raising exercise. The intent should not be to change the person but rather to inform them that their behaviour has been noticed and has an impact on others.

A tiered approach to promoting professionalism can help to manage disruptive behaviour. For example, the Vanderbilt model for addressing disruptive behaviour is based on a tiered intervention pyramid with four graduated interventions.⁴ A single unprofessional incident may be subject to an informal intervention such as the “cup of coffee conversation” with a colleague. If the behaviour recurs or a pattern is apparent, a documented intervention with the physician’s or provider’s direct supervisor is appropriate. A persistent pattern of disruptive behaviour unresponsive to lower level intervention may require escalation to a higher authority figure, with further documentation and an action plan. Failure to respond to the authority intervention would lead to disciplinary action. Leaders using this or similar tiered intervention models need a fair and balanced process for reviewing allegations of unprofessional behaviour, a follow-up system that includes meaningful and effective conversations, and the skills and authority to conduct interviews.

While a collegial approach may seem simple, it is often difficult to implement owing to the nature of team culture. Healthy conflict management is difficult to support in the absence of a culture that promotes, fosters, and supports speaking up, psychological safety, and learning.

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The following skills are important to de-escalate conflict: active listening, agreeing, acknowledging, apologizing, and acting as a team.

1. Active listening

Active listening is a key skill in de-escalating conflict. Individuals involved in conflict may see issues differently or want different things, but through good communication and a commitment to resolving conflict, one should be able to identify the underlying common interests.

Active listening is a specific communication technique that involves giving the speaker your undivided attention and patiently listening without interrupting. The “active” element involves taking steps to draw out details you may have missed by rephrasing what you think you heard and providing the other party with an opportunity to either confirm your understanding or correct it. Active listening techniques build trust, show concern, and establish rapport. In addition to listening to what is said, observe non-verbal behaviour to notice any hidden meaning. Facial expressions, tone of voice, and other behaviors can sometimes tell you more than words alone.

As you listen, be open, neutral, and withhold judgment. Avoid offering advice or solutions until you have fully understood the interests and needs of the other person. Premature solutions can be frustrating to involved parties, and distract them from clarifying all the thoughts and emotions about the problem. Some people will simply “shut down,” outwardly appearing passive and compliant, but inwardly having disengaged.⁵

Active listening techniques include:

Communication skills:

• Ask open-ended questions
• Ask specific questions for clarification
• Resist interrupting
• If it is necessary to interrupt, do so professionally and compassionately⁵
• Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements (e.g., “I feel that” vs “you always”)
• Encourage the expression of concerns
• Be respectful
• Wait to give an opinion
• Employ attentive silences
• Do not abruptly change the subject

Attentive body language:

• Utilize posture and gestures that show engagement
• Employ nonverbal cues such as nodding, eye contact, and leaning forward to demonstrate interest
• Be aware of your own and others’ facial expressions

Reflecting skills:

• Paraphrase to show understanding
• Use brief verbal affirmations like “I see,” “I know,” “sure,” “thank you,” or “I understand”
• Summarize the major concerns

2. Agreeing

• Seek common ground
• Look for potential solutions and possible barriers

3. Acknowledging

• Acknowledge the other individual’s feelings to demonstrate empathy
• Be open to the possibility that you may be wrong

4. Apologizing

• Offer and accept apologies as appropriate

5. Acting as a team

• Work together without blame or judgment
• Clarify who is responsible for the next steps

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1. Know yourself (biases, triggers, etc.)
2. Be aware of and manage your own role in the conflict
3. Be proactive in trying to prevent and resolve conflict
4. Reflect on the situation, process, and desired outcomes
5. Create a safe environment in which to address conflict
6. Clarify needs and identify interests underlying positions on all sides of the conflict
7. Be flexible in assessing the options and in problem solving
8. Manage the impasse with calm, patience, and respect
9. Know when to ask for help
10. Encourage creative problem solving

Managing conflict is particularly challenging when the other individual is angry, aggressive, intimidating, or threatening. Little can be done to change another person’s feelings and behaviours. Conflict, however, requires two people. You are in control of your own actions, feelings, and behaviours. Instead of seeking to change others, focus on exploring your role and your biases and their contribution to the conflict. It may be that, in times of conflict, you will need to “take the high road” to de-escalate the situation.

Anger is typically a secondary emotion. By understanding what is underlying an individual's anger, physicians can learn to confidently negotiate many of these situations. When the other individual is agitated and confrontational, remaining calm and speaking politely in a soft voice often helps to defuse emotions. Strive for discussions that are non-judgmental and that take place in a safe environment.

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